it gets really hard in my life when i hav a little brother thats disrespectful and is such a lazy mouthy spoiled mfing brat that i just want to scream my head off and a dad that cant figure out when im using a tone or doing things out of anger or not which REALLY makes me want to scream especially since my brother isnt disciplined when he does the actions that im constantly acussed of doing! RRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
breathe
RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have a list of what im too stressed out about
1. my brothers fing ways
2. my parents
3. fall play
4. getting in college
5. telling my mom that im going to VU(if i go)
6. figuring out what im doing
7. worried about not getting my desired diploma bc of an fing SAT score
8. whether its worth quiting track bc it sucks
9. letting my parents down 4 quiting track9if i need 2)
10. car insurance money
11. any chance of going to florida for spring break
12. my urge to kill my brother
13. my urge to scream at my parents for their unfairness
14. any relatives that try to "help me" when im not "myself"
15. thinking whether or not im worth doing all of this shit 4
16. whether im worth going to college
17. whether id b good at what i do in the future
18. wondering why my fing acne wont leave me the hell alone
19. trying not to show my true feelings around my relatives so they dont tell my parents that i have 'not been myself lately' and i get interrogated and my privacy gone
20. whether im actually worth being in this world

im sure that ill have more to add to my list when i think some more or have more mental melt downs. my gama called and asked about why i wasnt acting 'myself' when i took a pillow to my head when my cousins woke me up when i spent the night. she told me that she is there to talk to me and i need to talk to someone but im just afraid that shell tell mom or whoever then theyll interrogate me until i tell them something.
i cant keep my feelings to myself? WTF!!!!!
dads coming ill add more later